Needless to say, it was kind of an insult even back then; nothing screams romance more than “I’m interested in you but not enough to actually to join the site.” Fortunately most sites seem to have wised up and charge a subscription fee instead, but the vestigal organ that is the “wink” hangs in there like an appendix and does nothing but cause trouble.
Here’s the thing: everybody knows exactly what it means when a guy sends one of these.
I’m a big believer in efficiency when it comes to dating. Y’see, online dating can seem for folks, especially people who have a touch of approach anxiety or hate the bar and club scene but don’t necessarily want to try hitting up strangers at Barnes and Noble.
In practice, however, we have these tendencies to expend a lot of our time and energy on aspects of dating which prone to wasting your time with online dating than you are trying to meet women by making a cold approach at a bar or making small-talk with the cute librarian you ran into at Starbucks.
It’s a way of saying “I know you’re probably not going to write back to me, so please notice me noticing you and do the hard work for me…” If you’re interested in them, send an email already!
Much like stressing about the opener, the first email is there to get them interested enough to write back.
The key is to be short and sweet; the longer the email, the more likely it’s going to seem as though you’re too desperate. if you’re already assuming that they’re not likely to write back time writing out a sonnet?