But for a woman to be laid properly -- by a passionate lover who knows what he's doing -- well, that's a whole different ball game.In my head, I’d somehow ascertained she had “slut face,” and was therefore more likely than others to put out. Has a bad relationship with her father and/or has divorced parents. Like piercings and tattoos, dyed hair telegraphs “rebellion” to social norms. Whether you use them to get laid more reliably, or to avoid wifeing up the town bike, these cues should be on every man’s slut radar. You could meet a nun with a tattoo, or a ticklish slut, but these are—especially the more of them that are evident—some of most accurate predictors of sluttiness you’ll encounter.Before every date—as a sort of silly little game with myself—I like to set a percentage for the likelihood that I’ll get laid that night. Sororities are little more than pussy buffets for the campus fraternities. Has traveled alone, or with only girls, to fuck-fest locations (e.g., Jamaica). Cheerleaders have, and exploit, access to the most desirable and horniest dudes at school. Went, or goes, to a known party college (e.g., Arizona State, USC, UC Santa Barbara). Lost her virginity on the younger side (15 and down). Is “friends” with DJs, promoters, or other small-time pseudo-celebs. This may seem like a no-brainer, but they often do so in subtle ways that can seem plausibly deniable. “Daddy issues” are classic, but accurate predictors of her relationship to men and sex. Describes herself as a feminist or with any of its jargon (“pansexual,” “demi-sexual,” “cis-gendered”). Girls with even, perfect tans spend a lot of time semi-naked, often in semi-public.
When, after increasingly spirited making-out, I reached for her pants button, she confessed, She laughed and ran to the bathroom. I don’t normally have sex during periods, but make exceptions for new bangs. This is especially the case if they’re visible, multiple, large, and elaborate. Sluttiness increases as you radiate from the lobe, to other parts of the ear, to the nose crumb, to the bull-ring. Especially if she uses the words “fuck,” “pussy,” or “cock” outside of the bedroom. Almost every prude is super ticklish, while sluts are rarely so.
When I got the girl to my apartment later that night, her number jumped from 40 to 60 percent. It’s an imperfect metric, though, because women of certain ethnicities are just more hirsute by default.
It had already been climbing steadily from its starting point thanks to a series of subtle slut tells she’d been emitting at the bar. Exposes the midriff, lower back, or ass-piece from the bottom of her daisy-dukes even when it’s not super-hot. Has extra body hair (arms, girl-sideburns, girl-mustache) and/or a low speaking voice.
Tuthmosis is a Columnist-at-Large at Return of Kings.
His work has been covered by major media outlets such as The Huffington Post, Cosmopolitan, Vice Magazine, The Daily Mail, and Yahoo Shine.