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We waited a long time to focus on settling down, and now we’re facing a somewhat distressing fact of life: Once you’re over 40, there is a diminished pool of men to choose from.

So we figured out – and accepted – that the right man does not magically appear when you’re ready for him.

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Sometimes I wonder if we convince ourselves we want children without really examining it.

You have to work hard to find someone you really want and really like – or, as one married male friend put it, “someone normal” (apparently normal men are in short supply).

The search is a kind of journey, and along the way you tend to learn a few things about yourself, and about the society we live in. Everyone knows lots of fabulous single women in their 40s …but can’t think of any equally fabulous single men the same age.

This is one of life’s big mysteries but sometimes I think the key is identifying the right places to look. When you’re over 40, you’re usually pretty comfortable in your own skin You know what you like, and what you don’t.

Maybe you would prefer to hang out at cafes, museums, film festivals and art galleries.