In the year 2000 I was happily married (for 13 years, together for 20) to my college sweetheart, with a lovely home and two young children.
Then one day I began the process of discovering my husband's long-standing affair—with someone I knew very well. And though I met and married a wonderful man— and have been married for over 10 years—the hurt and pain of that time is still there. I was (and still am) very lucky to have an incredible network of friends and family—without whom I would have never come out the other side as successfully as I did.
The fears, anger, hurt and complications that accompany divorce are there 24/7, as opposed to the temporary "single" status that occurs when a spouse is away. "I kind of envy your 'alone' time."Another well-meaning comment that ultimately stings.
Mainly because even in moments when I was enjoying my "alone" time, the reason for it would quickly overwhelm. No matter the cause, divorce almost always feels—on some level—like failure.
My husband had an extra-marital affair that ruined me emotionally, physically and spiritually. And yet I can say, with complete conviction, that I am happy. And I was lucky that in my case it really did work out for the best.