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A few years ago I got friendly with a woman online.

It was flirting, just sexy chat but it never became physical.

There’s a contradiction here between what happened – something that was intimate and sexual, that you ended in favour of your marriage.

This guide on how to deal with arguments may help while this piece on showing and sharing affection may be useful in creating a more positive environment for you both.

Your letter is a useful place for you to unpack how you’re seeing and talking about things.

You knew this was a secret non-monogamous relationship.

In your longer letter, you go on to say ‘it never became sexual’, ‘it didn’t mean anything’, ‘I feel like I’m being punished for something I didn’t even do’ and that your wife ‘accused’ you of ‘having an affair’.

You say that you enjoyed flirting and sexual chat with someone online.