After posting an article on “10 Played-Out Online Dating Messages That Guys Send Women,” one reader shared her story about a guy named “Ritzy” from Plenty Of Fish — a handsome, charismatic lawyer — who sent her and three of her friends the same message: Turned out he sent me the same message a week prior. Every message he receives or sends just reaffirms his need for her — especially if he begins sensing a connection with someone that may threaten his unwavering love for her. He refuses to put even an ounce of effort into message exchange, because he has been burned in the past by women who never respond or often don’t care to extend the relationship beyond the realm of the digital world.
I have a fair amount of horror stories, possibly enough to include in an HBO series called “Internet Dating Tales From The Crypt.” I am not saying that there aren’t a good deal of great guys looking to meet great girls online, but when you aren’t expecting to be bombarded with messages from creeps, freaks, jerks and everything in between, the online dating world can be a bit shocking — and not the sexy man popping out of a birthday cake kind, either.
In any case, even my bad online dating experiences can be learned from.
Men who expect you to clean up their dishes, pick up their clothes and take care of them as if they are little children on a consistent basis need a really check, and will likely treat you as if you are their mother for the rest of their lives. While everyone likes a good deal, real men will not make this known when courting a woman. There's nothing wrong with sitting on the couch and watching sports. But this should never trump the responsibilities of a relationship or take precedence over family obligations. These changes in effort can be very foretelling of how he will be a year or two down the road. The I-had-sex-and-now-I-don't-have-to-try-anymore guy. Always play close attention to how a guy's behavior changes once he has had sex with you for the first time. Be very wary of men who talk up a big game of what they plan on doing with their lives.
Be wary of men who constantly look for deals and comment on prices early on in the dating process. Expecting a home cooked meal every single night makes for a relationship that will likely feel unbalanced in the long run. There should be contributions from both parties, even if that contribution isn't always evenly divided. While no man should always be expected to plan five-star dates, at the same time, the romance shouldn't just completely fall off a cliff at once. The opposite of number eleven, the over-controlling guy must know where "his woman" his every second of the day and approve of who she is hanging out with.