Professional counseling and self-help programs can be a big help when you need to change your expectations of the relationships you are in.
I told my husband about me seeing someone else but not that we had sex.
His sister inlaw started to suspect things and so we had to mellow it out.
We started finding other ways to see eachother and talk to eachother. I didn't want to, but it really was starting to get hard.
If i leave i will have nothing no place to live or anything...
Unfortunately, love is not everything to some people. The world we live in may be a reason to become paranoid of strangers, and suspicious of our own family, at times.